Letting Go Isn’t Easy, But You Don’t Have to Do It Alone.
It can feel incredibly heavy, can’t it? That knot in your stomach that tightens whenever you think about a past hurt. That person, or that situation, you desperately want to release, but the words just won’t form, and the feeling of peace feels impossibly distant. The pain runs deep. The betrayal still stings. Maybe it was a harsh word spoken in anger, a wound inflicted by someone you trusted, or an injustice that altered the course of your life. And while your heart longs for peace, forgiving feels impossible. Today, let’s explore why forgiveness feels so hard and how you can begin to find freedom.
As Christians, we know God calls us to forgive. We hear scriptures about grace, redemption, and letting go. Yet, what happens when our hearts won’t comply? When the pain runs so deep that the idea of forgiveness feels like an insurmountable mountain? You’re not alone in this struggle. Forgiveness is often portrayed as a simple, one-time act, but in reality, it’s profoundly complex and can feel utterly impossible.
Some hurts cut to the very core of our being: betrayal, injustice, abuse, or profound loss. When the wound is this deep, forgiveness isn’t about excusing the wrong or pretending it didn’t happen. It’s about releasing the power that pain holds over us. Our spirit cries out for justice, and releasing that can feel like abandoning ourselves or allowing the offender to ‘get away with it.’ It’s a natural human response to protect our hearts, but it can paradoxically keep us shackled to the very pain we desperately want to escape, making forgiveness feel all the more difficult.
Why Forgiveness Feels So Hard
1. The Depth of the Hurt
Some wounds cut so deeply that the thought of forgiveness feels like betrayal, like letting the offender off the hook. But forgiveness is not about excusing wrongdoing; it’s about releasing its grip on your heart. Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
2. Misconceptions About Forgiveness
Often, our understanding of forgiveness is clouded by harmful myths and held back by false beliefs:
“Forgiveness means forgetting.” Not at all. Forgiveness isn’t amnesia; it’s about remembering differently, without the grip of bitterness and resentment. The memory may remain, but its power to inflict fresh pain lessens.
“Forgiveness means reconciliation or trust.” This is a huge one. You can absolutely forgive someone without reconciling with them or rebuilding trust, especially if they are unrepentant or dangerous. Forgiveness is an internal act of release for your benefit. Reconciliation requires effort from both sides.
“Forgiveness means condoning their actions.” Never! Forgiveness acknowledges the wrong committed but chooses to release your right to hold onto that pain and allow it to control you. God Himself forgives but never condones sin.
Fear of More Hurt – “If I forgive, will I be hurt again?” It’s natural to be protective of yourself, but clinging to resentment doesn’t prevent future pain, it only extends suffering.
Our Desire for Justice – We long for fairness, for consequences. Yet Romans 12:19 reminds us, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” Forgiveness is surrendering justice to God, trusting Him to redeem our pain.
Uncertainty About the Process – Many desire to forgive but don’t know where to begin. It can feel vague, and overwhelming.
3. Fear of Further Vulnerability
A deep-seated fear often whispers, “If I forgive, will I be hurt again?” We put up walls to protect ourselves, and breaking them down, even in forgiveness, can feel incredibly vulnerable. We might worry that forgiving signals to the other person that what they did was “okay,” inviting more harm. This self-preservation instinct, while understandable, can prevent us from experiencing true healing and freedom.
4. Our Desire for Justice (and God’s Role)
There’s a very human desire for an “eye for an eye,” a yearning for the scales of justice to be balanced. It’s incredibly difficult to surrender our right to vengeance. As believers, we are called to release this desire to God, who says, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay” (Romans 12:19). This is a profound act of trust, acknowledging that only God can truly right all wrongs.
The Christian Path to Freedom
Understanding whyforgiveness feels so hard is the first step. The next is embracing that for Christians, forgiveness is rarely a single event; it’s a process, often requiring repeated choices. It’s a journey, not a destination, enabled not by our own strength but by God’s grace. Our capacity to forgive stems from the radical truth of how much we have been forgiven by Christ. As Ephesians 4:32 reminds us, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
This journey requires intentionality, prayer, and space to process our emotions. This is where tools like journaling become invaluable. It creates a sacred space for God to work in your heart, helping you process the pain, identify triggers, and track your progress as you lean into His healing power.
Introducing Your Guide to Forgiveness
Understanding the “why” is crucial, but having a practical guide to navigate the path is essential. That’s why I created the book: Grace in Release: Finding Freedom Through Forgiveness, and the journal: Grace in Release – 30-Day Devotional Journal Edition. Both are specifically designed for Christians on their journey to profound forgiveness. It is a Christ-centered guide designed to help you let go.
This isn’t just a collection of empty pages; it’s a daily companion offering:
✔️ Daily scripture reflections to root you in God’s truth.
✔️ Thought-provoking prompts to guide honest self-reflection.
✔️ Space for prayer and pouring out your heart to God.
✔️ Practical steps for embracing God’s grace in the forgiveness process.
This guide is designed to help you release the heavy burden, heal from past wounds, and step into the freedom and peace God intends for you. You don’t have to stay stuck in unforgiveness. God’s grace is sufficient, and this journal is a tool to help you walk in it, one day at a time.
Why Write About Forgiveness?
Because I’ve been there. >Because I needed it. >Because we all do.
Forgiveness is not about forgetting what was done to us.
It’s about releasing the hold it has on us, so God can begin the deeper work of restoration.
This book is a candid look at what forgiveness really costs… and what freedom it brings.
And the journal? It’s a space to meet with God, unpack your thoughts, and trace His grace in your story.
What You’ll Find Inside:
In the Book: ✔️Devotional reflections on biblical forgiveness
✔️Healing testimonies and spiritual tools
✔️Scriptural foundations to strengthen your faith
In the Journal: ✔️30 days of prompts, prayers, and Scripture
✔️Writing space for your heart’s process
✔️A printable prayer + Scripture memory cards
✔️A closing blessing to send you forward in grace
For the Woman (or Man) Ready to Let Go
Maybe you’ve been holding on to pain for years.
Maybe you’re just realising how deeply something wounded you.
Maybe it’s not about forgiving someone else
Maybe it’s about forgiving yourself.
Whatever your story, I believe God wants to meet you right where you are, and gently lead you into something new.
This isn’t about perfection.
It’s about permission — to release, to rest, and to heal.
Forgiveness isn’t easy. But grace makes it possible.
Those words have echoed through my spirit more times than I can count. They were the whisper I clung to through seasons of hurt, disappointment, and deep soul work. And now, they’re the heartbeat of a message I’ve felt led to share with others walking the same road.
Today, I’m so grateful to introduce the two new resources that were born from that journey:
Grace in Release: Finding Freedom Through Forgiveness – a book of reflection, biblical truth, and personal healing
Grace in Release: Devotional Journal Edition – a 30-day guided journal to help you walk it out, one prayer, one page at a time
Let’s Walk Together
You can now find both resources on Amazon worldwide:
And if they bless you, would you let me know? I’d love to hear your story.
You can also leave a review, your words might be the nudge someone else needs to begin. Get yourself to that position where you too can explain to someone why forgiveness feels so hard!
