While separation from a spouse can sometimes be a relieve for some individuals, for others they’s a vacuum left behind after a breakup that results in a filling of emptiness.
Last week I read the story of the famous Sheila Ferguson in the newspaper about how she had become so lonely following the death of her partner. This goes to show that you can indeed feel lonely in a room full of people. You can deal with loneliness and live your life to the fullest following a separation!
Following a separation, it can be tempting to drown your sorrows in all manners of ways including food and shopping indulgences or spending much of your time on Social Media stalking your ex lover, Maybe you constantly day-dream and always wishing your late partner was still alive. No doubt Loneliness has become an epidemic in our time, as more and more are turning to Social Media for interactions. However, there are effective options that can help you deal with loneliness without impacting on your health, affecting your waistline and self-worth.
Times spent alone are great tools for preparing you to move on in life. The ideas shared bellow are very effective in helping you deal with loneliness, speeding up your recovery and ease your anguish.
Dealing with Separation
The difference between being alone and being lonely is quite huge. As human, social support and interactions are crucial to your mental and physical health. Here’s how to stay connected when you find yourself separated from your partner.
Good to talk – It is indeed good to talk and to who better than your friends and family? The best soothing and encouraging words that you need can only come from those that know you best, so talk to them. Ask for what you want whether it’s a hug while you cry or a space as you figure out what to do next.
Go through your contacts list. Find time to go through your contacts list and reach out to your old friends and colleagues. I personally find old friends are the best as you can just pick up from where you were before. Invite an old friend and former coworker for coffee.
Volunteer your time and services. Volunteering your time and services is a great way of doing thing you would normally not do when you were with your ex or late partner. You will also find it an exciting way of extending your network and moving your attention away from your ex. As a bonus, focusing on helping others will make you feel happier and more satisfied.
Follow your interests. Often times we sacrifice our interests for the benefit of our relationships. Now is time for you to pursue that which interests you. Look for new places to hang out and join a Meetup group or go to a concert, seminar or workshop where you’ll be surrounded by people who share your love for dress making, reading, baking or African cooking.
Reach out. Get out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself to connect with people you will ordinary not connect with. Reach out to the cashier at the supermarket and commend her cheerfulness in service.Tell your neighbor that his lawn looks beautiful.
Changing Your Thinking Pattern
It’s great to have friends and family on your side, but you also need to look at your relationship with yourself. Adjusting your perceptions protects you from loneliness regardless of what’s going on in your love life.
Acknowledge how you feel. You’ll most likely experience some uncomfortable emotions such as fear, anger or jealousy. These are normal feelings you can’t run away from, however, you need to be able to control your emotions by facing up to the fact and allowing yourself to learn and move on.
Write things down. Keep a journal and make a habit of writing down your feelings, especially those deep and conflicting feelings. Observe any feelings that tend to be hindrance keeping you in isolation. Maybe you feel embarrassed about being single or you’re avoiding mutual friends because you don’t want to run into your ex.
Look for inspiration. Heartache is a common condition that follows separations. Listen to songs that remind you that you are not alone. Pick out role models who have built a happier life after a relationship ended.
Stay active. Don’t give room to depression by feeling blue. Stay active by working out or going for long walks as you admire God’s handy work of nature. Even running errands or pulling weeds can distract you from memories that are a little too sensitive right now. Give yourself bonus points for trying something new.
Laugh and play. It’s easier to attract others when you’re radiating joy and energy. Participate in activities you love and look for opportunities to brighten someone else’s day. Force yourself to smile and soon it will become automatic.
Live in the moment. Keep in mind that your situation is temporary. Take it one day at a time instead of dwelling on the past or projecting into the future…remember to live today.
Pray about it. Your spiritual faith and community can be a source of strength. Contemplate your purpose and what kind relationship you are seeking.
It’s natural to struggle with loneliness after a romantic relationship ends. Deal with loneliness by looking for practical ways to reconnect and treat yourself with kindness and compassion. Dealing with loneliness and not denying the fact will constructively will help you to heal and find the new love you deserve.