Do You Know How to Make An Effective Apology?


Making An Effective Apology…

Effective apology is not compensation you give someone for your wrong doing but acts of bringing healing to someone you have hurt.

Every now and then we all make some kind of mistakes that requires us to make an apology. It could be that you made a bad judgment or overwhelmed by a situation and you completely lost it! Every wrongdoing does not require the same kind or level of apology. However, every situation that requires an apology requires an effective apology. If you truly want to enjoy your life and comfortably step out of your wrong doing, it is quite important that you learn effective apology so that you can apologize appropriately when the need arises.

A stiff apology is a second insult… The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt.
Gilbert K. Chesterton

Below are useful tips you can bear in mind to help you make an effective apology:

1.  Don’t always expect your apology to be accepted. Subject to the character of the person you have offended and also the nature and gravity of your wrongdoing, there’s quite a possibility that your apology may be scorned. If you go with the hope that your apology will be accepted but you’re faced with a rejection, will you be able to handle the situation if that is what happens? What will you do to stop the situation getting any worse? Will you just allow the matter to diffuse itself at its own time? 

  • Apologies are not always accepted. People are of various characters and so not all the people you offend will be easily pacified. Be ready for any imaginable outcome.

2.  Just apologize. When you know there’s need for you to apologize, just do it. When you delay in giving apology, you’re in effect inflicting unnecessary more pain and suffering to both of you. Delaying gives room to an opportunity for the mix-up to breed. Giving your apology tomorrow when you can give it today may possibly be too late. Be of good courage, be considerate, offer an effective apology and move on.

3.  Curtail your explanation. Sometimes when you try to explain yourself, it’s easy for the other party to think you’re trying to excuse yourself by shifting the blame. A long explanation will render your apology insincere. By all means if you believe a justification is advantageous, then go ahead and explain yourself tactfully. However, try not to make your apology to be centered on you. Stay focus on the person you’re apologizing to.

4.  Incorporate genuineness. I’m sure you too have at some point been faced with insincere apology. An effective apology is a genuine apology that comes from the heart. An apology that does not appear to be genuine will only result in bigger disarray than intended. Swallow your pride and allow yourself to be vulnerable in a potentially unpleasant situation, as this is one very effective approach that I can guarantee will work.

5.  Be very selective with your words. There are a many ways to say you’re sorry. Be very careful with your choice of words by thinking meticulously about what and how you want to say. Reflect on how the other party will welcome it. Are you sure your words will help you achieve your objective? 

  • It might be good to solicit the help of a close friend. Run-through your apology and request for helpful comment.

6.  If appropriate, fix any damage you instigated. What damage did you cause? Did you drive into someone’s car and damage their bumper? Ask to pay for new or repair the bumper. If you spilled wine on someone’s carpet, why not pay a professional carpet cleaner to have it cleaned? Tidy up everything with everyone that was involved.

7.  Reflect on how to prevent similar issues arising. Take time to mull over the event and the lead-up to it and ask yourself some questions. What lead to your mistake? Did you jump to a conclusion without a good understanding of the subject? Were you kind of harsh with your words?

  • Ponder on what you can do to make certain the same situation does not arise again. Don’t be in a rush as you might need quite some time to work out the answers.

Having read this post, you’re now equipped to make an effective apology the next time an apology is required. Be brave enough to make your apologies when required in a genuine and unselfish manner. However, ensure you take out some minutes to choose your words sensibly. Words are powerful tools that can make or break a relationship, so be tactful. Upon giving your sincere and effective apology, accept the consequence and move on with your life.

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About the author: A wife, mother, worshiper, writer and a business woman of integrity. An advocate for life purpose and passionate about women living their lives to the fullest and on purpose – making impact… having fun whilst earning a living. Remi Badozi is a life purpose coach who empowers women to live purposeful and leverage the power of the internet. Founder and creator of Life Purpose Matters.

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