11 Tips for Creating and Maintaining Meaningful Relationships

Some people seem to attract others like moths to a flame. Some of us struggle to attract and keep people in our social circle. There are many simple tips that anyone can implement to increase the number of meaningful relationships they enjoy in life.

By ensuring that people feel good in your presence and maintaining a positive attitude, you’ve already won half the battle.

Create and maintain meaningful relationships:

1. Make people feel like a million bucks. The way people feel about you is a reflection of how you make them feel. If someone feels interesting, confident, and capable when you’re around, they’re going to like you. If they feel insignificant, unintelligent, and anxious around you, the opposite occurs.

* Ask yourself why you like the people you like. Then ask yourself why you dislike the people you dislike. You can learn a lot this way.

2. Be a great listener. One of the simplest ways to make others feel important is to give them your full attention. Keep your focus on the other person and listen to the best of your ability.

3. Be reliable. We treasure those we can count on. Be on time. Keep your word. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. Be that person that we all respect.

4. Maintain regular communication. Relationships fall apart without regular communication. The level of comfort and familiarity drop over time if you go too long without speaking to each other. At least once a month, pick up the phone and maintain contact. It can be work, but the rewards are worth the effort.

5. Be open. Most of the communication that occurs between people is boring and frivolous. Forget about the weather as a topic. Share something interesting and encourage the other person to do the same.

6. Find mutual ground. Determine what you have in common and put your energy into that. You might only have 5% in common with someone else, but that can be enough to build a strong and meaningful friendship. Put 100% of your effort into that 5%.

7. Help them succeed. What’s important to the other person? Help them succeed at whatever it is.

8. Be positive. We all secretly like that person that always seems to be in a good mood. We all dislike that person that’s always in a foul mood. Be a ray of sunshine for everyone you meet.

9. Compliment others. Giving too many compliments can be counterproductive, but the occasional, sincere compliment is always appreciated. Compliments are even more powerful if given in front of others.

10. Share experiences. You always feel close to that person that you’ve shared experiences with, even negative experiences. Make an effort to spend time together doing something meaningful, and hopefully, positive. It can be as simple as going to the State Fair, eating cotton candy, and riding the Ferris wheel. Neither of you will ever forget it.

11. Ask questions. People enjoy talking about themselves, and it makes them feel important. Ask a few questions about their day, their life, or their hopes and dreams.

It can be that easy. Show a sincere interest in others, be open, maintain regular contact, and focus on making the other person feel good about themselves. Be wary of giving “constructive criticism.” While you may have the best of intentions, negative comments can weaken relationships.

There’s no need to sit back and be upset about the lack of meaningful relationships in your life. Now you know how to enhance your social life and your relationships!

What if You Are Allowed to Live Today Over and Over?

Do you have big plans and aspirations for the future? Do you act on those plans and aspirations each day? Exciting goals are easy to imagine. They even feel good. But putting them into action is another story. Too many people live their lives in a way that only preserves the status quo. How happy are you with the status quo?

Live each day in a way that changes your future:

1.  Imagine your average weekday. Use yesterday as an example, unless something unusual happened.

  • Consider what you ate and drank.
  • How much exercise did you get?
  • What did you do with your social life? Did you spend time with anyone else socially?
  • Did you call any friends?
  • If you’re single, did you ask anyone out on a date?
  • If you’re married, what did you do to enhance your relationship?
  • Did you do anything to increase your income or advance your career?
  • Did you learn anything new that would be useful in the future?

2.  Consider your average weekend. Ask yourself the same questions.

3.  Imagine living those same days over and over for the next 10 years. Where would you end up? Based on your food intake and exercise output, where would you expect your health and body composition to look like in 10 years?

  • Do the same with your finances, social life, marriage, and career. After 10 years of living your average day, what is your prediction?

Let’s use a hypothetical example, Rose.

Rose is 45-years old. She’s divorced and works as a first line manager at a large corporation. She’s not in bad shape, but could do with losing 20 pounds. She’s saved some money, but she doesn’t save regularly.

Consider Rose’s average day:

On Monday, Rose stops at Starbucks on the way to work for a café latte and a muffin. Breakfast sets her back about £7 and 1,400 calories, but she has a decent job, so she doesn’t worry about it too much. She figures she deserves it anyway.

She arrives to work 15 minutes late. Not late enough to get into any trouble, but she’s always a little late, so people notice. She’s not setting the world on fire at work, but she does enough to keep her job secure. Like most people, she avoids work if she can get away with it. She believes she deserves to be paid more if they want more work.

She eats lunch out of the vending machine and drinks a bottle of water. Water is good for you, she thinks, so it’s not a horrible lunch.

She drives home at 5:00 and watches the news while her frozen dinner is cooking in the microwave. The meal isn’t healthy, but it’s not too bad either. She eats dinner and surfs the internet…mainly the personal ads looking for the man of her dreams. She finds one man who appeals to her and she pastes the same introduction email she’s sent to few men before.

She watches a little more TV and then reads 20 pages from a love novel. She’s feeling industrious, so she washes all the dishes and pays some bills before getting ready for bed. In bed, she plays on her phone and texts her  secondary school friends.

Tuesday through Friday are similar days.

Where can Rose realistically expect to be in 10 years?

Is your average day remarkably more meaningful and productive? Where will you be in 10 years? Are you living a day that will lead to positive changes in your life? Or are you simply passing the time with short-term comfort in mind?

As you live your day, ask yourself what the long-term implications of your current task are. Does that task matter?